Like so many people, I spend a good portion of my time watching Youtube videos. I am occasionally baffled at my willingness to sit for hours listening to complete strangers ramble on about what make-up they use, how they style their hair, how they clean their bathroom or what they’ve recently been buying.
Some of my absolute favourite videos are “routine” videos. These can be skincare routines, bedtime routines, cleaning routines, meal planning routines – anything. As long as someone is talking me through how they run their life, I’m hooked.
I’ve realised this is some kind of lifestyle porn. Take, for example, the morning routine. I am insanely envious of the bloggers/vloggers who have it all sorted in the morning. You know the kind of thing. Springing out of bed at about 9am, having a fancy coffee, preparing a sumptuous breakfast (probably feat. avocado) and then carefully crafting the perfect makeup, ready for a productive day. I once even saw someone who painted her nails, HER NAILS, in the morning before getting down to business.
My mornings couldn’t be further from that. My alarm goes off at 6am, but I usually sleep through it. Mr Mess usually shouts up around 7am after realising he hasn’t heard me walking about. It’s then a mad rush to go to the loo, brush my teeth, chuck on some clothes and slap on the absolute bare minimum of makeup. (Otherwise, people at work will ask if I’m unwell – I kid you not!)
One of my main wishes for 2017 is that I finally, finally have a morning routine worthy of a Youtube video (or in this case, a blog post). What’s that saying about if you want something you should first visualise it? I’ve decided to try that here. So, here is a rundown of my ideal morning routine.
6am – The alarm sounds…
I’m roused by the gentle tones of Radio 3. I drowsily open my eyes and have a leisurely scroll through social media until I’m fully awake.
6.05am – Leap out of bed…
As bouncy as a sprightly baby deer, I grab my favourite dressing gown. (Slinky and silky if it’s a warm day, fluffy if it’s a cold morning. Skip down the hall to the bathroom because..you know..basic needs…
6.15 – Heading downstairs…
Straight to the kitchen where both the kettle and I are whistling, full of the joys of life. I brew myself a hot beverage, usually coffee, but possibly Earl Grey or a herbal tea if I’m feeling adventurous. Quickly feed the kitty-cats and then…
6.30 – Back to the bathroom…
Coffee in hand, it’s skincare time. I currently have a ridiculous amount of skincare products stocked up in case of a zombie apocalypse in my local Boots store. I have made a solemn vow to not purchase another product until I’ve used up everything I own.
One of the reasons I have such a large stockpile is because I ALMOST NEVER USE THEM! I’m terrible when it comes to taking make-up off and facial routines in the morning. I just don’t bother. Quick wipe with a face-wipe, or splash with some face wash and I’m done. Sorry – cleanse, tone, moisturise, what?
In my dream morning routine, I am the Queen of clean, using a multitude of facial products – pre-cleanse, microfoliants, the lot! My skin is left sparkling and smooth as baby’s bum (such an odd saying!) as I make my way back to my boudoir…
6.45am – Make me over…
No more getting ready in the mirror over the fireplace for me. I have a beautiful dressing table and I’m not afraid to use it. While catching up on my Youtube feed, I perfect the art of contouring and make sure my eyeliner is “on fleek”. (A phrase I have never used before and plan to never use again!)
Instead of lumping my hair in a plain old ponytail, I actually spend time straightening, or even curling, my luscious locks until even Rapunzel would be jealous. I can already hear the compliments at work today. “Oh, you look glamourous.”, “Have you had your hair done”, or “Who are you trying to impress…”
7.15am – The finishing touches…
I selected my outfit for the day last night, so it’s already hanging up ready and I don’t have to go scrabbling through the laundry basket looking for something to wear. Hoorah! Looking fabulously sophisticated and professional, there’s just time to add a few accessories (I have hundreds gathering dust in my jewellery box) and a spritz of perfume before….
7.30am (On the dot!) – Out the door!
My bags were prepped last night as well, so I can avoid any frantic, last-minute hunts for my car keys, name badge, gloves, sunglasses, purse, debit card (or all of the above!) Pulling out of the drive, knowing I will arrive at work EXACTLY on time, I am feeling refreshed, relaxed and ready for anything.
(The more observant amongst you may have noticed that I haven’t eaten breakfast, but that’s ok – I never like to eat this early in the morning. I’ll have something delicious and healthy tucked in my bag for later!)
Now, doesn’t that all sound blissful. I mean, sure, this morning was nothing like that. I was jolted awake by the rousing tones of Mendelssohn’s wedding march, spent far too long scrolling through social media before frantically rushing around to get ready in time.
Still, a girl can dream can’t she…
Our routines are so similar – although I’m not good at getting out the of bed on time now it’s winter!
I tend to wake up at 7, and actually get out of bed at about 7.45, and rush to get ready!
I know what you mean. I’m dreadful at the moment with these dark mornings. If I don’t hop immediately out of bed I fall back asleep and then the hubby has to come upstairs to drag me out!
I love this idea! My mornings (or evenings when I am on nights) tend to involve being woken by my lumi light, watching far more youtube than I should, shoving some food in, minimal skin and hair care and then rushing out the door frazzled.
I need to change this!
It’s so hard isn’t! I don’t know how you do night shifts – I’m bad enough at waking up in the morning, never mind if you started messing with my internal body clock!
Haha I loved this post Stacey! I used to be so good at getting up in the mornings – 6AM was not a problem for me. Now I struggle with 7.30! I always make time for my skin care though, it’s my little bit of luxury in an otherwise frantic morning. I know I spend far too long scrolling social media but hey, who doesn’t! I find summer a much easier time to have that ‘you tube perfect’ morning routine…roll on the sun!
Kara
http://www.spreadthesparkle.co.uk
I do agree – I think it will be so much easier in the summer when we have light mornings. In the cold and dark I just want to snuggle back into my duvet and stay there forever.
You look great and I love the hat! I had a bit of a chuckle at a zombie apocalypse happening in boots (pray that never happens!) this was a really great read and I love your slight sarcasm throughout, my kinda style! I could never do my nails even if I had the time let alone in the morning like whoever it was you were watching!!!
Sherry x
Thanks! I’m not used to wearing hats so it’s a new thing for me.
I am trying to find a more relaxed style when writing these kind of posts. I want it to sound the same way that I talk. I’m glad it’s starting to come across.
Lol! I completely understand your pain. My alarm goes off at 6am, 6.25,6.40,6.45,7.00 then I normally get out about 7.05.. I’m the worst!!
We can keep wishing..!
Ha! I do exactly the same! I’m so terrible. Glad I’m not alone.
I always find that my hair gets neglected in the mornings but my makeup doesn’t! I try to shower the night before and multi task eating breakfast and putting my makeup on but it’s a struggle! Xxx
My problem is that I always want 5 more minutes sleep! It’s so hard just getting out of bed!