Dear Diary: Confessions of a Fangirl

Ok, so I never, ever thought that I’d say this but I am a fangirl.

I have, in the past, actively mocked other people who displayed these kind of addictive and obsessive personalities.  The people who fawned over their idol’s every word.  Who stalked them on social media and relentlessly commented on their posts in the slightest hope of a reply.  Apparently, I am one of them.

Exhibit A – My obsession with my favourite travelling theatre company, The Pantaloons has been well documented. I follow all of them on Twitter, I go to every show I can afford and/or fit in, I write gushy reviews about aforementioned shows.  It’s a problem – I’m dealing with it.

Recently, I’ve discovered a new victim.  I mean, target.  I mean…oh heck, you know what I mean.

I have three words for you.  Carrie Hope Fletcher.

Now I know that a few of you will have hopped on this band wagon a LONG time ago, but to say I only discovered Carrie recently, my addiction has progressed really bloody fast!

I first saw her in the role of Truly Scrumptious in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.  She was utterly charming and had a gorgeous singing voice.  Up until this point I’d never really heard of her, a fact which REALLY annoys me now.  I’d love to go back to that day and thoroughly appreciate it.

A few days later I was searching for the song “Pulled” from The Addams Family on Youtube.  I found an amazing version by none other than Carrie Hope Fletcher. (You can find it here if you’re interested).   This is by far my favourite version that I’ve found of this song.   I absolutely LOVE her performance which is so very different from her character for Truly.  It kind of felt like fate was leading me to her.  And yes, I know how that sounds.  I KNOW!!!!

From that video, I came across Carrie’s Youtube channel “It’s way past my bedtime”. I spent one evening watching as many videos from her archive as I possibly could.  I think I probably stayed up until about 3am in the morning and watched 75% of her entire back catalogue.  I’m not entirely sure I’d recommend this approach to anyone, as I was knackered the next morning, but man, I enjoyed every second!

The thing about Carrie that really caught my attention is that she’s so darn adorable and utterly genuine.  I think I’m a sucker for people who seem real, people who I feel I can relate to. When you watch Carrie’s videos you feel like you really get to know her.  It turns out we have  lot of similar interests – Disney, reading, musicals (obviously).  After a while you start to feel like you’re one of the gang.  Which is probably dangerous as you start to get attached to people you’ve never actually met.  (I’m making this sound worse every second aren’t I?)

As a kid, I desperately wanted to pursue a career in theatre but sadly I had to be realistic.  Instead I fell into a fascinating profession as a school administrator (can you hear the sarcasm? Can you?)  Through Carrie’s vlogging I feel like I get an inside view into the theatre lifestyle!  I can live vicariously through her and never have to go through the stress or inevitable rejection in the performing industry.  I find her back stage blogs fascinating.  You can tell how much she loves her work.

So far my obsession has led me to follow Carrie on Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr.  I got one of her books “On The Other Side” for my birthday, which I’m planning to read on my holiday.  I just managed to stop myself from attending one of her book signings as I’m sure most of the attendees would have been 10 years younger than me.  I figured I’d probably feel a bit awkward!

I’ve also been on her Hopeful shop and purchased two items: a backpack and a “Hopeful” necklace.  These may be two of the most random purchases I’ve ever made.  The necklace is gorgeous.  I wear it almost every day and get loads of compliments.  I like it because I know it’s a fan item, without it being obvious to the rest of the world.

The backpack is slightly harder to explain.  I haven’t owned a backpack since I was about 15!  And now I can’t believe I ever lived without one.  It’s huge.  It fits my laptop and ALL my stuff for an overnight stay. It’s so comfy and easy to carry.  This turned from a crazy, impulse purchase to absolutely the most useful thing I’ve ever owned!  Buy a backpack!  Now!

I thought long and hard about writing and publishing this post.  It does seem a little scary to post something this gushy about a person you’ve never met.  Part of this post is just a really silly piss-take of myself.  Part of it is a genuine response to this nasty, bitchy world we live in.

In a world where trolls will regularly get on Twitter or Youtube and tell someone they’re awful, that their hair is a mess or their makeup looks stupid, why SHOULDN’T I be able to get up here and tell someone I think they’re flipping great!  I’m pretty darn certain that if someone read my blog and thought I was awesome, I’d want them to tell me.

So from now on I’m going to try and give people some positive feedback to counteract any negative.  If that makes me seem strange then good!  I’d rather be strangely nice than averagely horrible.

So, Carrie Hope Fletcher.  I think you’re amazing.  Please keep making your highly entertaining and fascinating videos and I promise to keep watching them.

And if you think someone is great today – please go and tell them.  That is all.

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