Goodbye 2015…

What a year!

I realise that I’m actually posting this after midnight on New Year’s Eve, but I actually started it before midnight and then got distracted by the world’s longest Monopoly game – which I won – with over £15,000!!!

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the blog.  It has changed a few times since it first began, starting as Desperately Seeking Stacey, becoming A Little Pinch of Pixie Dust and finally arriving at A Mess In A Dress.

On New Year’s Eve, way back in 2013, I sat down and began to write about the aftermath of my marriage breakdown.  The blog began as therapy, a way for me to work out my feelings.  As the clock struck midnight, I sat alone in my house,  with my babies fast asleep upstairs.  I made plans for the year ahead and told myself at least things couldn’t get worse.

I was very wrong…

2014 was filled with lows, lows and even further  lows.  After one rather earth-shattering shock I spent NYE in a daze, facing another year of struggles and uncertainty.  Instead of an improvement in fortune, I braced myself for whatever was still to come.

It’s tempting to say “Goodbye, good riddance”to 2015, as the last few months certainly haven’t been kind. But I won’t.  That wouldn’t be entirely fair.  The year hasn’t been all bad.  It’s certainly not in my top 5 best years, but I suppose it could have been worse.  Maybe.  Just about.

And if nothing else, it’s taught me a lot.

I’ve learnt about love, not in the romantic sense, but in the sense of caring for another person and trying to do everything you can to make their life easier.

I’ve learnt about friendship. Your best friends will stand by you, even if they don’t necessarily agree with you.  I know I couldn’t have made it through this year without my friends.

I learnt about family.  Mine have been invaluable this year in helping me, practically and emotionally, to support me in every way that they could.

But most of all, I’ve learnt about me.  If you’d have told me 1 year ago all of the things that I would have to deal with and work through, I would never have believed I could do it.  I’ve always thought I had a strong personality, but the past few months have really tested that theory to the limit.  I have reached breaking point on a number of occasions, but I have somehow struggled on.  I didn’t give up, even when every part of me wanted to.

It’s not been the best end to a year, which is a shame as this is normally my favourite time to celebrate.  However I refuse to be beaten.  And I refuse to let this shape my future.

There are still rough times to come, and hoops that have to be jumped through, but I am quietly optimistic that the worst may be behind me.  And that there may be a tiny of glimmer of light in the future.

I’m not making any resolutions, as I’ll only break them and I want to concentrate of finding balance.

Instead of resolutions, I have hopes.  I hope that things settle down, and I finally start to feel like I have control in my life again.  I hope I continue to grow in my work and to begin building a career.  I hope I get reacquainted with my blog and the wonderful blogging community.  I hope I can take the time to enjoy my life, instead of chasing my tail all of the time.

So, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hope you have a really Happy New Year.  Thanks for taking the time to read this silly little blog and I hope to see more of you in 2016.

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